Werewolves and woodchucks.

I noticed something the other day. In a desperate attempt to be "witty" or "funny" some of you have sent me a series of stupid questions. "Hey guys, let's ask Nettis what color a smurf turns when you strangle it!" You know what color it turns? It turns a brilliant hue of "go fuck yourself." I do not want to receive any more of these questions. However, It's garbage day which means that I'm going to give some brief answers to these questions.

Roy: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck would?

Gee, that's a real tough one right there. I wonder if woodchucks ask each other "how many shitty questions could one human ask if one human could?" However, they don't because woodchucks can't fucking talk. Nor do they actually "chuck" wood. Come on, just because an animal is named after an action, it doesn't mean that the animal does said action. Take the swallow for example. Yeah, they don't do that and now I'm not allowed to go to the park anymore. NEXT!

Adam: During a lunar eclipse, would a werewolf change completely, Stay the
same, or just get stuck with sideburns and a goatee?

Werewolves know not to change during lunar eclipses because vampires warn them not to. Then the werewolves realize that shape shifting is impossible, and the vampires realize that no human could possibly live on a diet of blood. Then they both realize that neither of them exist and then they vanish.

Why are the letters of the alphabet in that particular order? Is it
because of the song?

I myself was actually very curious about this myself. So I decided to use my powers to go back in time and ask the ancient Greeks. (I already knew the answer, I just wanted to try time traveling) So when I arrived in Athens, I asked the nearest citizen where i could find the academy. She screamed at the top of her lungs, yelled something in Greek and ran away. Which is the weirdest orgasm I've ever seen.
Of course they aren't in that order because of the song!

If you took a compass into space, what direction would it point?

It would point towards me.

Cristian: The statement below is true
The statement above is false

make this make sense

Did you just demand something of me? I don't take demands, I take questions. 3...2...1... There, now several billion flesh-eating bacteria now live on your skin. Here's how this one works. Read sentence 1, turn around, wait five minutes, turn around and read sentence 2. There, now it makes sense.

Anonymous: If 7-11 is open 24/7, 365, why do they have locks on the doors?

To keep clever people like you out of the store.

Why is abbreviated such a long word?

Shouldn't the word "penis" be longer or shorter depending on who's saying it? Use the word abbr. and shut up.

How come you never see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

How come I never see the headline "Annoying Internet Anonymous Bursts into Flames"?